I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
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