He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
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