I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
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