He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
Randomize
