you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
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