worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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