her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Randomize
