just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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