I need to stop coming to work sober
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
