I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
