you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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