Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
