You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
