Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
