Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
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