hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
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