Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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