I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize
