if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Randomize
