How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
