dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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