i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Randomize
