Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Randomize
