just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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