tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Randomize
