i wish there were pregnant emoticons
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Randomize
