Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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