I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
