just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Randomize
