Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
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