We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Randomize
