i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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