it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
