Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Randomize
