Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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