I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
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Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize