you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
