ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
