I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize
