I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
