well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Randomize