i permit you to call me
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
It's shark week go big or go home
Dicks are not precious.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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