do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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