do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize