SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
