OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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