idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Bring me that man meat
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Randomize
