We're facebook friends in real life
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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