Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
