I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
Randomize
