I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Randomize
