i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
i out mim tonsoeep
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