there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
