Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Randomize
