when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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