WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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