nut hugger
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
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