You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
