Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
