He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Randomize
