Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
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