yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
