OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize
