this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
