I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Randomize
