it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
