you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Randomize
